Go Team!

This is what happens when grandma and grandpa are huge 49er fans and have season tickets to the games AND happen to buy jerseys for their two grandsons while at one such game.

My little future football star in all his glory:

Party Hat

This is the hat I worked on yesterday for our friends' son's first birthday party on Saturday. I LOVE the yarn, it's really cool how it changes texture and adds little pops of color. 

Being on quite a tiny budget this year inspired me to attempt all of our holiday gifts for $5 or less. Even though this is a birthday gift I thought it would be a fun challenge, so I found a free hat pattern on Ravelry. After making a couple of personal adjustments to the pattern, creating all the owl features myself and buying yarn on sale with an additional 25% off  (and using some I already had on hand) it came in right about $5! 

The picture of Elliot is blurry because he is not a fan of hats and was rather upset with me for trying to take that picture. 

The good news is that it even looks cute on a pouting face!

Rob Crow

This beautiful bearded man is responsible for two of my favorite songs.
I think about these two song a lot this time of year.

Hello, blogger, it's been awhile

I made an attempt at a post and all that came out was a stampede of thoughts that lacked cohesion. I will try again soon.

Until then

Here's What's Up

* Something cool:

My grandmother (the wife of my grandfather that just passed away last month) recently gave me my dad's first pair of Levi's! These were probably worn around 1962. Being a lover of vintage and all things of family value, this was quite an exciting gift to receive! I can't wait to try them on Elliot.

* A few days ago we found our cat, Indy, hit by a car at the beginning of our cul de sac. When I first moved into our home in February of 2009, he ran in the door one day and we have had him ever since. Even after we had him fixed, he was a feisty cat that never seemed happy but was always happy to receive our love. It's been an emotional month in general so it goes without saying (yet I will still say it) that I took it pretty hard. I will miss him very much.

* My little man is getting so big. He has such a beautiful smile. I am so overwhelmed with the desire for another child. I don't know if I have ever felt as needed as the time I have been a mother. It has given my life a purpose I always lusted after and now completely embrace.
Most of  my friends (which is a very short list) do not live close by. I have no one that I "hang out" with on a regular basis. I see my mom when she can steal away a few moments...she is my best friend, someone I don't know what I would do without. Never that elusive "friend" though...one that hasn't moved away, kept too busy for those frequent chats and visits, or gone through lengthy spells of discord. I have to admit I am in one of those really achy, lonely spells where all of this is extremely apparent.
But every morning I do have one of my favorite (physical) constants: Elliot. He is my company and joy throughout my days. He is never too busy for me and thinks I'm brilliant, funny and extremely fun to hang out with. He has gotten me through these past couple of months, holding me steady each day until his dad comes home. I love him more than these words do justice.

* On the subject of friends, a dear friend of mine since junior high is getting married in September. I am so excited to be there to celebrate her marriage. I am sad that she will be moving to England after the wedding, as I rarely see her these as she lives down south. 

* Saturday I have a shopping trip planned with my mother and grandmother. I am really excited!

That's about it...

Five Minutes to Midnight

make the clock stop

make your heart drop

become alive

-boys like girls

Oh, how I thought my days...uh, nights, of insomnia were behind me. 

Here are a few of my thoughts as I cross over into Thursday:

1. Fashion blogs are really, really dumb. Your daily outfit choices are just NOT important, ladies. You make me despair more than just a little.

2. I have never enjoyed staying up for hours when normal humans are sleeping.

3. I'd like to go to sleep now.

4. Unfortunately I'm still awake. 11:59...and counting.

Just like daddy

E is for Elliot

I have wanted to add some type of letter decoration in Elliot's nursery for awhile.

I found this hook in the dollar bins at Michael's...score! Even though I loved the chocolate brown and would match the color scheme in the nursery, there was a small chip in the paint that was bugging me. So, I was going to buy some scrapbook paper and modpodge it on...when I found this sheet of fabric with adhesive backing that was $1 after my coupon!

I think it turned out really cute. I also found the lower case 'e' for 30 cents in the clearance section. It was a quick little project that didn't cost much and I think it adds some character to the wall. 

I added some scrap fabric to those embroidery hoops and I hand stitched the owl in the shadow box. I think all of that total (minus the decals which are part of a set throughout the room) was around $10. 

DIY is awesome. The end.

All teething and no play

makes mommy very tired.

I have been up with Elliot since 330am. He has screamed and writhed around in my arms most of that time. He's exhausted but can't sleep. His mouth hurts too much to want to have to chew anything, so all of the meat that he loves so much has not appealed to him the last few days. And then he decided to vomit a good amount just minutes after my mom came by this morning. Luckily it hit the mat under the computer chair so clean up was easy (just looking for the silver lining)...

They say that those sleepless nights during your pregnancy are to prepare you for the sleepless nights ahead when you have a newborn. I can only conclude that the crazy, sleep-deprived era of teething must be my preparation for the crazy, sanity-deprived era of having a teenager.

Yesterday Mo(u)rning

My grandfather passed away early yesterday morning. Most of the day my family spent seeking comfort in his favorite places. His chair, his living room, his workshop, the porch swing. Josh and I took Elliot on the swing and sat in silence for long spans of time. It's amazing the perception of children in times of sadness. They seem to be even more reflective than the grown ups.

I'm glad that my grandfather is no longer in pain, no longer has hospital stays in his certain future, and no longer has to be trapped inside the skin and bones of his human body. I think as the week goes on there will be more emotion to process...for now I am locked in that surreal moment after death when nothing seems real and everything feels too real.

Birthday Blanket

It's finished!! The beautiful blanket I made for my mom's birthday!

I am so pleased with how it turned out!! And the yarn that I used is amazing...so soft and plush! I love it and will definitely use it for future projects.

Now on to the next...

A Truly Happy (Birthday and) Fourth of July

Elliot's party was a success!!
So many friends and family came to celebrate my not so little anymore boy's birth on Sunday, despite the awful 100+ degree heat and the fact that I chose to host the party at the park. Oops. Nevertheless, it was truly a good time of laughter, otter pops and a very delicious french vanilla cake with strawberry filling. I think around 30 people made the super sweaty event, and it was special to see so many gather together for Elliot. I will try to keep pictures at a minimum...

Monday was Elliot's actual birthday. It was a good day. We visited my grandfather in the hospital for awhile, caught up with my friend, Vanessa, at her house until Elliot's fits from teething became too much to handle, and ended the day with BBQ hot dogs, family and fireworks. Altogether a very successful beginning to July!

A Little Bit of This and that

I am so SORE!
I went to jazzercise for the first time in a few months. At the halfway point I thought I was going to die. The routine Sounia, the instructor, is doing has LOTS of cardio and targets every part of the abs. This is good since I still have a little bit of baby belly left...a whole year later.
What I love about jazzercise with Sounia is how much fun I have. I may be sweating like a pig and about ready to collapse but it still fails to feel like exercise.

I am quite happy to announce that Elliot's first tooth finally broke through last week! It's his top left front tooth and he looks like a little jack'o'lantern when he smiles. He has some others that should be making their appearance soon as well, but for now he is my one tooth wonder. I'll miss calling him Toothless!

He threw a FIT when I tried to get a cute picture of him smiling so you get him mid-tantrum at a funny angle...but there it is!

Elliot's party for his birthday should be interesting...we reserved an arbor at a local park for Sunday afternoon, not knowing it will be about 106 degrees! We picked this particular park because it is almost completely shaded, but we will see how everything ends up. It will be a time to visit and have some cake, nothing fancy, but I am really excited! It just doesn't seem like a year has already rushed by.
(I am especially excited about the cake! I will definitely post pictures.)
My mom, Landyn, Josh, Elliot and I went to said park on Monday to scope out our spot and check out the playground, which turned out to be a successful (and sweaty) adventure.

On a more serious note, my grandfather is in the hospital and is not doing well at all. They have been having trouble with his dialysis, he is passing blood and is in a generally fragile state. He has been in and out of the hospital over the last few years but each visit gets closer and closer together. Any prayer would be appreciated, for him as well as my family. I know my grandparents are extremely disappointed they won't be at Elliot's party, but I am more disappointed that things look so grim for now.
My mom and I took Elliot to visit him on Wednesday, before everything started going really downhill and while he was out of the ICU.

I'm not sure why these pictures turned out so grainy...

We will be busy next week with Elliot's party, actual birthday on Monday and 4th of July plans. Another busy summer month ahead!

**Update on my grandfather:

Right now he is back in ICU basically waiting to die. They can't get his dialysis to clean out his system and without it his body will continue to poison itself. Every part of his body is compromised...one treatment just causes another problem. His heart is functioning very little. He could have a heart attack and pass, or just basically wait for his body to shut itself down since his kidneys failed long ago.

We were able to see him for a few minutes this evening. He is mostly incoherent, rambling about things that make no sense. 

I feel heavy and for once it's not just the heat.

I know things will get better

"You've got to make a decision
We can leave tonight
or live and die this way"

-Swimming With Dolphins

Here are some things that have made June awesome:

1. Getting Elliot's pictures taken professionally for the first time for his birthday party invitations, which turned out adorable.

2. We had a family reunion (on my mom's side) and I got to catch up with relatives I haven't seen in a long time. I also ate so much watermelon I had a stomach ache.

Oh, and I did this:

which for me is pretty much the ultimate state of being.

3. I found some sheer curtains to hang over our kitchen slider! The best part is that I only paid $15 total for two panels and a scarf that altogether would have originally cost $240! That might be one of my best scores ever.

4. Elliot celebrated his first Father's Day with his daddy on Sunday. It was special watching Elliot walk around with his unending smiles saying  "da da" and "daddy." So much has changed so quickly.

5. Seasons 5 of Psych and 4 of Leverage, both were excellent.

6. My beautiful mother turned 50 years old yesterday. My family celebrated with a delicious dinner of BBQ chicken, corn on the cob, salad and iced tea. Josh and I brought her a pretty bouquet of chrysanthemums, carnations and snapdragons (some of her favorites) and I am working hard at finishing her present, which will hopefully be finished soon so I can share pictures! I'm pretty pleased with it.

7. Yesterday also was 5 months to the day since my miscarriage ended in January. This is very exciting for me, as this means my body is healthy and healed enough that we can try to have another baby. It feels like these 5 months have dragged on and have been a test to my patience, but here I am! I am excited to see what the rest of this year will hold for our family.