Five Minutes to Midnight

make the clock stop

make your heart drop

become alive

-boys like girls

Oh, how I thought my days...uh, nights, of insomnia were behind me. 

Here are a few of my thoughts as I cross over into Thursday:

1. Fashion blogs are really, really dumb. Your daily outfit choices are just NOT important, ladies. You make me despair more than just a little.

2. I have never enjoyed staying up for hours when normal humans are sleeping.

3. I'd like to go to sleep now.

4. Unfortunately I'm still awake. 11:59...and counting.

Just like daddy

E is for Elliot

I have wanted to add some type of letter decoration in Elliot's nursery for awhile.

I found this hook in the dollar bins at Michael's...score! Even though I loved the chocolate brown and would match the color scheme in the nursery, there was a small chip in the paint that was bugging me. So, I was going to buy some scrapbook paper and modpodge it on...when I found this sheet of fabric with adhesive backing that was $1 after my coupon!

I think it turned out really cute. I also found the lower case 'e' for 30 cents in the clearance section. It was a quick little project that didn't cost much and I think it adds some character to the wall. 

I added some scrap fabric to those embroidery hoops and I hand stitched the owl in the shadow box. I think all of that total (minus the decals which are part of a set throughout the room) was around $10. 

DIY is awesome. The end.

All teething and no play

makes mommy very tired.

I have been up with Elliot since 330am. He has screamed and writhed around in my arms most of that time. He's exhausted but can't sleep. His mouth hurts too much to want to have to chew anything, so all of the meat that he loves so much has not appealed to him the last few days. And then he decided to vomit a good amount just minutes after my mom came by this morning. Luckily it hit the mat under the computer chair so clean up was easy (just looking for the silver lining)...

They say that those sleepless nights during your pregnancy are to prepare you for the sleepless nights ahead when you have a newborn. I can only conclude that the crazy, sleep-deprived era of teething must be my preparation for the crazy, sanity-deprived era of having a teenager.

Yesterday Mo(u)rning

My grandfather passed away early yesterday morning. Most of the day my family spent seeking comfort in his favorite places. His chair, his living room, his workshop, the porch swing. Josh and I took Elliot on the swing and sat in silence for long spans of time. It's amazing the perception of children in times of sadness. They seem to be even more reflective than the grown ups.

I'm glad that my grandfather is no longer in pain, no longer has hospital stays in his certain future, and no longer has to be trapped inside the skin and bones of his human body. I think as the week goes on there will be more emotion to process...for now I am locked in that surreal moment after death when nothing seems real and everything feels too real.

Birthday Blanket

It's finished!! The beautiful blanket I made for my mom's birthday!

I am so pleased with how it turned out!! And the yarn that I used is amazing...so soft and plush! I love it and will definitely use it for future projects.

Now on to the next...

A Truly Happy (Birthday and) Fourth of July

Elliot's party was a success!!
So many friends and family came to celebrate my not so little anymore boy's birth on Sunday, despite the awful 100+ degree heat and the fact that I chose to host the party at the park. Oops. Nevertheless, it was truly a good time of laughter, otter pops and a very delicious french vanilla cake with strawberry filling. I think around 30 people made the super sweaty event, and it was special to see so many gather together for Elliot. I will try to keep pictures at a minimum...

Monday was Elliot's actual birthday. It was a good day. We visited my grandfather in the hospital for awhile, caught up with my friend, Vanessa, at her house until Elliot's fits from teething became too much to handle, and ended the day with BBQ hot dogs, family and fireworks. Altogether a very successful beginning to July!

A Little Bit of This and that

I am so SORE!
I went to jazzercise for the first time in a few months. At the halfway point I thought I was going to die. The routine Sounia, the instructor, is doing has LOTS of cardio and targets every part of the abs. This is good since I still have a little bit of baby belly left...a whole year later.
What I love about jazzercise with Sounia is how much fun I have. I may be sweating like a pig and about ready to collapse but it still fails to feel like exercise.

I am quite happy to announce that Elliot's first tooth finally broke through last week! It's his top left front tooth and he looks like a little jack'o'lantern when he smiles. He has some others that should be making their appearance soon as well, but for now he is my one tooth wonder. I'll miss calling him Toothless!

He threw a FIT when I tried to get a cute picture of him smiling so you get him mid-tantrum at a funny angle...but there it is!

Elliot's party for his birthday should be interesting...we reserved an arbor at a local park for Sunday afternoon, not knowing it will be about 106 degrees! We picked this particular park because it is almost completely shaded, but we will see how everything ends up. It will be a time to visit and have some cake, nothing fancy, but I am really excited! It just doesn't seem like a year has already rushed by.
(I am especially excited about the cake! I will definitely post pictures.)
My mom, Landyn, Josh, Elliot and I went to said park on Monday to scope out our spot and check out the playground, which turned out to be a successful (and sweaty) adventure.

On a more serious note, my grandfather is in the hospital and is not doing well at all. They have been having trouble with his dialysis, he is passing blood and is in a generally fragile state. He has been in and out of the hospital over the last few years but each visit gets closer and closer together. Any prayer would be appreciated, for him as well as my family. I know my grandparents are extremely disappointed they won't be at Elliot's party, but I am more disappointed that things look so grim for now.
My mom and I took Elliot to visit him on Wednesday, before everything started going really downhill and while he was out of the ICU.

I'm not sure why these pictures turned out so grainy...

We will be busy next week with Elliot's party, actual birthday on Monday and 4th of July plans. Another busy summer month ahead!

**Update on my grandfather:

Right now he is back in ICU basically waiting to die. They can't get his dialysis to clean out his system and without it his body will continue to poison itself. Every part of his body is compromised...one treatment just causes another problem. His heart is functioning very little. He could have a heart attack and pass, or just basically wait for his body to shut itself down since his kidneys failed long ago.

We were able to see him for a few minutes this evening. He is mostly incoherent, rambling about things that make no sense. 

I feel heavy and for once it's not just the heat.